Once upon a time, while we were still married, I was preparing to leave for a long business trip. In doing so I was trying to get Moronica up to speed on the bills so she could take care of them while I was gone.
Me: I went ahead and paid the bills we had so you won't have to worry about them. So you'll just need to pay whatever comes in after I leave.
She: They're all due at once?
Me: Well, no. We could wait until the last possible moment to maximize our average daily account balance but I figured the little bit of interest we would earn isn't worth the potential late fees and such, so I went ahead and paid them.
She: I wish you wouldn't do that. I have my own system of paying the bills when they're due.
Me: Uh, okay, but now they shouldn't have to enter your system since they're already paid.
She: I just can't believe you pay the bills when you get them.
Me: Right, well I did. I'll try to be more considerate of your system next time. Oh, while I'm thinking about it, I paid off the credit cards online so you won't have to pay those bills when they get in . . . or when they're due.
She: You paid off the credit cards?!?!!?! Why?
Me: . . . because we had the money and I'd rather not pay 28% interest on money that's only earning .1% . . . I don't get it. Why are you upset now?
She: God!!! Don't you know you don't have to pay more than the minimum payment?!!?!?!!?
Years later she would meet my girlfriend (whom I did later marry) and tell her the sad story of how I paid bills when they were received and paid off credit cards as a cautionary tale.
