First, introductions. My name is Phil and I was married to (we'll call her) Moronica for almost two years. We had a son together a couple of years before we got married. After getting drunk one night I decided to try to do right by our son so I called Moronica from the bar to propose over the phone. Ladies, please contain your orgasms.
So obviously I'm pretty awesome. This leads perfectly into how I had been telling Moronica for quite some time that she was, for the most part, a horrible judge of character. Obviously she refused to accept that. I mean, who wants to hear (and be able to agree) that they tend to gravitate toward absolutely terrible human beings. But for your sake, let me outline the people she chose to surround herself with. Within one year of moving to a new state she had become best friends with:
1) & 2) Mr. & Mrs. Abusive - Physically and Verbally, the perfect couple. They abused the shit out of each other (so I guess it was a match made . . . . somewhere) and there were three kids involved. It got so bad that their three teenagers regularly asked to spend the night with our two year old.
3) Old Madam Cokehead - who was at least 15 years older than us, and whom Moronica insisted we call on to babysit for us (before I knew about the cokehead part).
4) Screaming Supermom - She "dedicated her life" to her kids but was only able to talk to them while yelling angrily and for some reason couldn't get her one year old to "let" her change his diaper.
5) The Boyfriend - "Your wife and I are just friends"... but I will come over to your house every day after you leave for work and will always leave five minutes before you get home. Obviously this is the guy that ultimately led to the end of our marriage.
To recap, that's FIVE terrible people in one year. How many new people do you get close to in one year? I bet it's not five and even if it is I bet at LEAST one is a decent person.
